对联体诗（开阔诗野）

山外青山•涪陵

此诗，单看每句及每联都不错，点赞！:strong:可是，从整体来看，就有待商榷了。最大的问题是主题不突出。以春鱼为题，就要以春鱼为主、围绕着春鱼而着墨，重点描写或刻画春鱼的特点。可是，您之诗，只有一句在说鱼，其余句子跟鱼都关系不大。写诗和写其它文章一样，首先要突出主题。如果不突出主题，就像一堆珍珠没有连线而不成项链一样。个见，参考！:share::coffee

山外青山•涪陵

诗友的英文功夫不错，希望在把中国的古典诗词推向世界方面作出贡献！:share::coffee

山外青山•涪陵

还有一个问题：秋月，春鱼，到底是在秋天还是春天？

山外青山•涪陵

写诗和写其它文学作品一样，都要以现实生活为创作源泉。只有源于生活才能高于生活。

罗志海

悲情


落葉悲情雁返道
飛花愜意雲飄空
一方紫硯涵新月
半幅紅箋蘊古風


The Sad Feelings


The fallen leaves with the sad feelings
the wild geese returned
The flying flowers pleased
clouds floated in the sky
A purple ink stone
contained a crescent
Half a red paper
held in store the ancient style


2/24/2018对联体 ● 七绝罗志海著译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Seven Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第5369首对联体诗
The 5,369th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

山外青山•涪陵 发表于 2018-2-24 09:31
写诗和写其它文学作品一样，都要以现实生活为创作源泉。只有源于生活才能高于生活。 ...

谢谢点评。早安！

罗志海

草木


荔蕊难禁连夜雨
杏花怎挡阵头风
夕林美也梦云起
草木香哉心地澄


Vegetation


The litchi stamens hard to prohibit
the rain over the night
How does the apricot blossoms stop
the contrary wind
The forest under the setting sun is beautiful
the dream clouds rise
Vegetation is fragrant
our hearts are bright


2/26/2018对联体 ● 七绝罗志海著译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Seven Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第5390首对联体诗
The 5,390th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

琐事


落叶吟秋琐事
飞花恋水专情
弯弓月下射雁
舞剑溪边含风


The Bagatelles


The fallen leaves chanted the bagatelles of autumn
The flying flowers loved water so specially
Below the moon were ready to shoot the arrow
to the wild geese
Brandished a sword beside the stream
with wind



3/5/2018对联体 ● 六绝罗志海著译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Six Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第5434首对联体诗
The 5,434th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

夏水


琴声袅袅，伴随风韵春潮涌
雨意浓浓，暗惹梦思夏水湍
飞雪漫天，梅影悠然浮酒盏
寒霜一路，雁啼凄切入云端


The Summer Water


Sounds of the piano curled
accompanied the wind rhyme
the spring billows surged
The rain moods were thick
the summer water was torrential
incurred the dream thoughts secretly
The flying snow all over the sky
shadows of the plums leisurely
floated in the cup of wine
The cold frost all the road
the wild geese plaintively cried
reached in the cloudy sky


3/7/2018对联体 ● 十一绝罗志海著译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Eleven Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第5448首对联体诗
The 5,448th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

林樾


青鸟投林樾
流云击鼓鱼
招风岸上柳
注目篱边菊


An Open Space In Woodland


The green birds lodged an open space in woodland
The flowing clouds beat drums and wooden knockers
Caught the wind, willows on the shore
By the fence, gaze at chrysanthemums


3/10/2018对联体 ● 五绝罗志海著译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Five Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第5469首对联体诗
The 5,469th Two Pairs of Couplets